Relationship Standards: Ten Critical Questions

 

A very strong, Christian single I know tweeted this today...

"The devil has a long queue of married women trying to convince me to settle for a #FixerUpper. Nope. #VeryBasic"

LOL!  :)  It reminded me of a teaching I've been giving to singles for years and years called:

Relationship Standards: Ten Critical Questions you MUST ask before you fully commit to ANY romantic relationship!

(Stop “falling” in love. You’ll hurt yourself!  Who you love is your choice!)

1.  Is the individual fully committed to Christ? (Matt 16:24-26)
• Is there any spiritual fruit being demonstrated?  Have they discipled anyone?
• Fruit is always a sign of maturation.

2.  Does the person understand and obey the principles of God's Word? (Jam 1:22-25)
• Agreement is one thing, action is another.
• The person must be a "doer" of the Word. You don't want a flaky Christian!

3.  Is the individual free emotionally from former loves? (Php 3:13)
• This is a tough question because it takes so long to answer.
• We recommend a courtship of one year to allow time to learn one another.

4.  Do they have the same standards regarding love, romance, sex, and marriage? (Heb 13:4)
• In other words, are they willing to be your friend in courtship and wait until marriage?
• How do they view having and raising children? (Deut 6:1-12)

5.  Is the person committed to the church and ministry? (Heb 10:24-25)
• If not, why not?
• Lack of commitment to the local church is often a sign of immaturity.

6.  Does the person have a good work ethic? (Col 3:23)
• Are they excelling in their vocation and/or education?  Are they honest and punctual?
• Do you want to be involved with a lazy person?

7.  Is the individual a good financial steward? (Pr 22:7; 1 Cor 4:2)
• Are they in debt?  If so, what is their attitude towards debt?
• Do they believe in budgeting, giving, saving, and investing?

8.  Are family and friends good influences on their thinking and actions? (Pr 12:26; 1 Cor 15:33)
• Or are they too easily swayed by poor examples?
• Can you deal with their family?

9. Do they respond well under pressure? (Heb 11:1; 6)
• Or do they quickly crumble?  Again, this takes time to learn. (Courtship!)
• How a person handles drama will have a large impact on a relationship.

10.  Does the person have goals and dreams? (Pr 21:5; 29:18)
• If so, are those dreams inspired by God?  Are they clear, measurable, and written?
• If not, what does that say about their drive to succeed for God’s glory?
 

I'm not the only crazy one...

2 Timothy 2:1-4 (ESV) You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, (2) and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. (3) Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (4) No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.
 

I had the most interesting conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday, who is also a very good, local-church African-American pastor.  Our conversation turned to the prophetic voice of the church, and specifically, the need for ministers to build both their lives and ministries in such a way as to be able to keep preaching truth.  Then he said something funny.  He said that he and his wife are purposely keeping their personal expenses down so, "if all the church people leave because of the stands I must lovingly must take on the Scriptures, we'd be ok with getting lower paying jobs."  He had actually done the math for the contingency of losing most of his church over standing on the Word...on traditional marriage as an example.  I laughed out loud.  I thought I was the only one I knew who thought and prepared that way...not to "get entangled" in civilian pursuits to the point where I'm compromised!!!  LOL!

He then told me of another pastor doing the same thing.  And these are popular, well known, "successful" young pastors.  Hmmmm.  I guess I'm not the only one that sees some tough times ahead and is preparing so God's truth can be fully proclaimed.  Notice I said "preparing," not paranoid.  There's no fear here; just reading the signs of the times and begging God's mercy that they change.  And no, we aren't talking about building a cabin and buying a gun! LOL.  Just simple getting out of debt principles and saving for rainy days so we can care for our families and stand flat-footed, loving God and the people enough to deliver the Word honestly and truthfully.

I'm a a bit off?  Yep.  Am I alone?  Apparently not! :)

The Phrase "The Fear of the Lord" in the ESV

  1. (2Ch 14:14 ESV) And they attacked all the cities around Gerar, for the fear of the LORD was upon them. They plundered all the cities, for there was much plunder in them.
  2. (2Ch 17:10 ESV) And the fear of the LORD fell upon all the kingdoms of the lands that were around Judah, and they made no war against Jehoshaphat.
  3. (2Ch 19:7 ESV) Now then, let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Be careful what you do, for there is no injustice with the LORD our God, or partiality or taking bribes."
  4. (2Ch 19:9 ESV) And he charged them: "Thus you shall do in the fear of the LORD, in faithfulness, and with your whole heart:
  5. (Job 28:28 ESV) And he said to man, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.'"
  6. (Psa 19:9 ESV) the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.
  7. (Psa 34:11 ESV) Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
  8. (Psa 111:10 ESV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!
  9. (Pro 1:7 ESV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
  10. (Pro 1:29 ESV) Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD,
  11. (Pro 2:5 ESV) then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
  12. (Pro 8:13 ESV) The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.
  13. (Pro 9:10 ESV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
  14. (Pro 10:27 ESV) The fear of the LORD prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be short.
  15. (Pro 14:26 ESV) In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.
  16. (Pro 14:27 ESV) The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.
  17. (Pro 15:16 ESV) Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble with it.
  18. (Pro 15:33 ESV) The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
  19. (Pro 16:6 ESV) By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the LORD one turns away from evil.
  20. (Pro 19:23 ESV) The fear of the LORD leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.
  21. (Pro 22:4 ESV) The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life.
  22. (Pro 23:17 ESV) Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day.
  23. (Isa 11:2 ESV) And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.
  24. (Isa 11:3 ESV) And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear,
  25. (Isa 33:6 ESV) and he will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is Zion's treasure.
  26. (Act 9:31 ESV) So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied.
  27. (2Co 5:11 ESV) Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.
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